After the horrific incident in Delhi where a girl was gang raped there has been a lot of protests against the government and Delhi Police. And a few hours ago the news came in that the brave girl succumbed to her injuries. All this has forced me to think what role am i playing in this patriarchy society where there is rampant female infanticide and if the girl is allowed to be born she has to live in world like this.
"How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror." This is what the character V says in the movie V for Vendetta and i think it is exactly true in our case. All of us are here at fault as where were we when a grandmother was crying over the birth of her grand daughter and where were we when woman was burnt alive by her in laws and her husband as the woman's parents were unable to pay the dowry and where were we when a girl was eve-teased on the street and where were we when extremist and fundamentalists were beating up women on valentine's day as they were not following Indian culture and values. We have become such big hypocrites that when people talk about the tradition of dowry we strongly oppose it but when the times comes to get married or get our sisters/daughter married we ready to accept and give dowry respectively.
In our day to day life if we pay close attention we will come to realize that all this talk about women are worshiped in India is a farce. So one time in school a guy was describing an altercation in which his father was involved. His father was driving in Delhi where he was making a turn and this lady driver who was driving a car almost bumped into his car. I don't remember the exact details as to whose fault it was but as usually happens in these cases a verbal battle ensued. And his father came on top by saying "Dum hai toh mardooin ki tarah sadak par moot ke dikha". What it means is that if you have the guts pee on the road just like men do. Instantly all of us started laughing i too laughed as others were laughing but something inside told me that was wrong but i said nothing. I am sure all of us can recount umpteen number of incidents where women were assaulted either physically or verbally. The important question is what did we do about it if we found it wrong.
One time i was staying at my dad's first cousin(who is approx 15 to 18 years elder to me). So when dinner was ready to be served i joined them on the dinner table and saw bhabhi was serving dinner. After the dinner i saw bhaiya took all the dirty utensils and put them in the dish washer. I offered to help and he said no you are guest so no need and he further said that bhabhi and him take turns in the sense that one cooks the other cleans the dishes. Somehow that has stuck with me till date. I mean what else is in-equality just like husband, wife comes home from office and she is expected to take care of kids and start preparing for dinner. Doesn't she have a right to relax and take break, shouldn't the husband too help in these tasks. Here we are talking about gender inequality while in our day to day lives we see women getting exploited in these small and unknown ways and we don't even blink an eye.
I am no expert as to how solve this problem of inequality but i do know that part of the solution is definitely empowering women. We need to be proactive in our day to day lives to ensure that we are not part of any injustice happening against women. Which might mean that as a brother stand for your sister's right when your parents say that she should choose a particular field as the one she likes is male dominated, as a father please ensure that your daughter gets the best of education you can get for her, as a mother please do not belittle her, inspire her, help her develop wings so that she can fly and as a husband understand that marriage is a union of 2 human beings, your wife is not your servant, give her the utmost respect and be proud of her. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead
I would like to end it by posting Rabindranath Tagore's poem "Where the mind is without fear":
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
"How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror." This is what the character V says in the movie V for Vendetta and i think it is exactly true in our case. All of us are here at fault as where were we when a grandmother was crying over the birth of her grand daughter and where were we when woman was burnt alive by her in laws and her husband as the woman's parents were unable to pay the dowry and where were we when a girl was eve-teased on the street and where were we when extremist and fundamentalists were beating up women on valentine's day as they were not following Indian culture and values. We have become such big hypocrites that when people talk about the tradition of dowry we strongly oppose it but when the times comes to get married or get our sisters/daughter married we ready to accept and give dowry respectively.
In our day to day life if we pay close attention we will come to realize that all this talk about women are worshiped in India is a farce. So one time in school a guy was describing an altercation in which his father was involved. His father was driving in Delhi where he was making a turn and this lady driver who was driving a car almost bumped into his car. I don't remember the exact details as to whose fault it was but as usually happens in these cases a verbal battle ensued. And his father came on top by saying "Dum hai toh mardooin ki tarah sadak par moot ke dikha". What it means is that if you have the guts pee on the road just like men do. Instantly all of us started laughing i too laughed as others were laughing but something inside told me that was wrong but i said nothing. I am sure all of us can recount umpteen number of incidents where women were assaulted either physically or verbally. The important question is what did we do about it if we found it wrong.
One time i was staying at my dad's first cousin(who is approx 15 to 18 years elder to me). So when dinner was ready to be served i joined them on the dinner table and saw bhabhi was serving dinner. After the dinner i saw bhaiya took all the dirty utensils and put them in the dish washer. I offered to help and he said no you are guest so no need and he further said that bhabhi and him take turns in the sense that one cooks the other cleans the dishes. Somehow that has stuck with me till date. I mean what else is in-equality just like husband, wife comes home from office and she is expected to take care of kids and start preparing for dinner. Doesn't she have a right to relax and take break, shouldn't the husband too help in these tasks. Here we are talking about gender inequality while in our day to day lives we see women getting exploited in these small and unknown ways and we don't even blink an eye.
I am no expert as to how solve this problem of inequality but i do know that part of the solution is definitely empowering women. We need to be proactive in our day to day lives to ensure that we are not part of any injustice happening against women. Which might mean that as a brother stand for your sister's right when your parents say that she should choose a particular field as the one she likes is male dominated, as a father please ensure that your daughter gets the best of education you can get for her, as a mother please do not belittle her, inspire her, help her develop wings so that she can fly and as a husband understand that marriage is a union of 2 human beings, your wife is not your servant, give her the utmost respect and be proud of her. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead
I would like to end it by posting Rabindranath Tagore's poem "Where the mind is without fear":
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
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